Using food

Food is such a comfort.  It has sustained me through some pretty tough times.  I have used it over the years to stuff emotions, to comfort myself in hard times.  I have crammed 229 pounds of emotion down my throat.  It sounds violent and I think it is.  There is a way I put food in my mouth that feels abusive.

Lately, I have used food to stuff my own truth.  I would like to begin living my truth.  The deep down passion of life.  Yeah, I look forward to that.

Upward Battle

About 6 months ago I had an operation (an assectomy as it were). I haven't fully recovered and I have gained a bunch of weight and have had no desire to exercise. The diet that I teach is strongly anti-inflammatory. The way of living I profess is deeply healing. I know the right answers, but when one has gone down the wrong path over and over it can feel almost impossible to take a different path.
What is the first step?
Declare what I want:
I want to feel physically strong and healthy.
I want to feel vibrant and alive.
I want to feel light.
I want to feel positive every day.
I want to feel connected to nature.

The next step is to visualize.

Contradictions

I am an overweight dietitian. I teach about healthy eating and occasionally go to McDonald's. I have in the past worried about these contradictions and at the same time pretended to celebrate them. My contradictions around food will be plainly obvious as I attempt to follow the exact diet of 1948 Crete for the next 3 months. My goals are 1) to see what happens to my overall health by really eating like a Cretan, 2) to see what healing around food I can do in that time 3) to film and write about the whole experience.